


Diamond Crystal

by zenkai



Category: Chinese Actor RPF, EXO (Band)
Genre: Break Up, M/M, i stg there is never a happy xiuhan in my head lately
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-03
Updated: 2018-10-03
Packaged: 2019-07-24 13:31:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 984
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16176083
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zenkai/pseuds/zenkai
Summary: My dear diamond, diamond crystal.





	Diamond Crystal

**Author's Note:**

> disclaimer: i wished i owned these boys but reality says otherwise
> 
> notes: religiously inspired by cbx’s diamond crystal

 

 

 

The door to their bedroom is left ajar, one of the little things easily overlooked and irrelevant in a household.

Not their place. Never their place.

Minseok was meticulous. Overly so. The residence is clean, no spec of dust floating in the air. Every corner, every point and every side had been swept clean. Books are neatly arranged, kitchenwares are stored nicely, furnitures are placed accordingly.

Not a spec of his own belongings—because he'd packed them all out and had Jongdae move everything the whole time Luhan was out.

The clock struck a quarter to eleven. This time of hours had always been when the fights started. Luhan was always upset, disappointed. The sound of door slamming, the sound of plates crashing—or worse; the sound of heavy quiet, because just like Minseok, cold silence was always the answer.

Though, unlike the other times, this Luhan just looked afraid. Those eyes widen so much in disbelief, his touches on Minseok's are reluctant, shaking.

'You said _you love me_ ,' had been Luhan's final save.

They both read each other so well. Too well.

It was once something to brag on, because they made each other happy without trying, managed to discover slots and secrets without pushing, to flip bare on each other just easily upon layers and layers and see what was underneath. They relished on it.

Now, they just used it to turn on each other.

'That's the irony,' Minseok murmured, quiet, the building lump in his throat is making it hard to speak at all. 'I did love you.' Luhan's lips were all over him, now; his cheek, his neck, his shoulder, whispers of _pleasepleaseplease_ in his ear. 'So much, that I lost myself trying to keep you.'

'Minseok—' Luhan's thin voice was anything that Minseok was used to. 

On their better days, it would be like reflex and second nature, to hold Luhan close to him so he could ease away that hurt, to kiss the pain away.

This time Minseok's hands had kept still.

'In the end, we just hurt each other, didn't we, Lu?'

Luhan's grip got tighter around his wrist (and it probably should've hurt, if Minseok weren't feeling so numb). The weight of Luhan's head on his shoulder, warm tears sipping wet into his cotton shirt.

'Minseok…' His name rolled off Luhan's lips. Desperation, fear, and regret along with it. Over, and over, and over.

Unlike Luhan, Minseok's tears had dried out, no pooling in his eyes, no desire to cry. Perhaps his heart was too exhausted. The way he gently pushed Luhan away, breaking his hold over someone Minseok had spent so much time wanting, loving, _hurting_.

Luhan was visibly shocked, agape where he stood at the soft rejection, peering at Minseok's face—like the first in a long time, something just dawned on Luhan.

It was so clear on Minseok's stance: the steeled resolve born of constant the disappointments.

Minseok had seen what Luhan was seeing; he'd seen its refection firsthand in the mirror every time Luhan came home bearing traces of other people. Those times when Minseok wanted nothing else but having Luhan in his arms and only met with an empty bed—because Luhan had list of priorities and Minseok wasn't one of them. When Luhan couldn't even remember what Minseok liked, but his one distress phone call from Zhang Yixing and Luhan was quickly out of that door.

Minseok was seeing it now, reflected in Luhan's beautiful brown eyes, the look on his own face: _drained_.

Luhan wasn't the only one at fault, Minseok understood that, too. Luhan's pretty eyes weren't always seem to be that tired before, didn't have that shade of dark like they do now. Not when they were happy.

'You're not going to leave me,' Luhan mumbled, too quiet, too afraid. 'You won't leave me. You can't—you _won't_.'

'Luhan…'

'I know I-I made mistakes, but I love you, Minseok. You know I do...'

Minseok made mistakes, too.

Minseok loved him, too.

'You won't leave me.' Luhan's eyes were glazed, empty, drowning and trapped in a trance. 'You won't.'

God, he  _was_ sorry.

'It's over, Luhan.'

 

 

 

 

 

_'Baozi,' Luhan had called, his hands never strayed too far from Minseok's skin, always ghosting, always touching._

_'Yes?'_

_'Let's just stay like this.' Around Minseok's waist, from the back, were Luhan's arms. 'Always.'_

_'In this kitchen?' He took the liberty to joke, because Luhan always laughed to them; and Minseok really adore everything there was about any sound that came out of Luhan's mouth._

_The laugh came short in response, but those wrinkled lines by the edge of his eyes that only came about when he was amused, had remained. 'Minseok-aaah~'_

_'Yes?'_

_'Say yes. I'm going to bite you, if not.'_

_'Bite, then,' he kept going, because Luhan dug his nose into the crook of his shoulder, and to him, anything Luhan did always felt nice. 'I'm used to you hurting me.'_

_'You're annoying.' Luhan faked a pout, releasing his hold._

_The washer was already off by the time Luhan turned. He didn't get to go farther because Minseok reeled him back by his wrist. Their chests loosely met._

_'Annoying is when I was trying to wash the dishes and someone just wouldn't give me space,' he said, looking back into Luhan's surprised gaze. 'Annoying is having you walking around my place looking like this—' Luhan gave out a soft, satisfied sigh when the pads of Minseok palms pressed down on either side of his hips, and fingers spread behind._

_'Is that a yes, then?' Luhan leaned closer, breathing off Minseok's skin, but not touching quite enough to kiss._

_As always, Minseok relented, nipping Luhan's lower lip before kissing him full in the mouth._

_'Cheeky little shit.'_

_'You love me,' Luhan teased._

_'Yeah.' Minseok kissed him again, again and again. 'Yeah, I do.'_

 

 

 

 

The door closed with a click behind his back.

 

**Author's Note:**

> despite this story, in my mind xiuhan will never die lol FIGHT ME


End file.
